silly

Short story: Myths and Secrets

This popped into my head this morning and wouldn’t get out. If you’ve read my work before, you’ll recognize Daniel and Itami (from Layover, and from their AU versions in Blood, Lust in No Safewords, 2). They’ll have their own book, once I’m done with Swords of Charlemagne.

***

There was traffic on the George Washington Bridge. It wasn’t a surprise, and Daniel had planned for it. They would still make their meeting in Fort Lee in plenty of time. But for now, they were at a dead stop in the middle of the span. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, glanced out the window at the river below them, sparkling in the sunlight, then looked the other way at the man sitting in the passenger seat. He knew that Hiro Itami’s eyes were closed behind his sunglasses – it was daylight, and the bright light hurt his eyes even through glasses so dark that Daniel could barely see through them. But that had nothing to do with his being a vampire and everything to do with his being an albino. The whole ‘vampires can’t bear the light of the sun’ myth that Daniel had grown up hearing was, in fact, nonsense. So, apparently, was the inability to cross running water. Daniel looked down at the Hudson River again; polluted or not, it was definitely running water. Which led to the question…

Tono?”

“Yes?”

“May I ask a question?”

“You did just,” Itami answered. “What is it, koibito?”

Daniel grinned. “Well, there are a bunch of stories about vampires, about how to keep them from biting you–”

“You wish me to not bite you?” Itami interrupted. “It’s a bit late for that, my slave.”

Daniel laughed. “No! No, I like you biting me just fine. I just wanted to know how many of the stories are fake. I never had anyone I could ask before.”

“Ah,” Itami murmured. “Intellectual curiosity. All right. Ask. It will pass the time.”

The traffic inched forward a bit, then stopped again. Daniel waited until they were stopped again before speaking. “Religious symbols? Specifically, a crucifix.”

“Have I introduced you to Rabbi Isaac ben Miriam?” Itami asked in response. Daniel glanced at him.

“He’s the Viceroy’s lieutenant in Brooklyn, I think?” he asked, trying to remember the local hierarchy. When Itami nodded, Daniel relaxed. “I think so. I think you introduced me to him at the last meeting. Why… oh. Oh, I see. A crucifix isn’t a religious symbol with any meaning to anyone who isn’t Christian.” He grinned. “You’d need to be wearing a whole occult jewelry shop if that one was true.”

Itami chuckled. “Very good. What else have you heard?”

“Well, I know that sunlight won’t kill vampires. You don’t like it, but that’s different,” Daniel said. “And crossing running water isn’t an issue–”

“I could wish it was. Then we would not have to sit in traffic and pay ridiculous tolls,” Itami said.

“Ah… you can’t enter a place without invitation?” Daniel asked.

“Since when are manners only the purview of vampires?” Itami countered. “That one is ridiculous. Go on. What else?”

The traffic started moving again as whatever clog righted itself, and Daniel turned his focus to driving. He’d learned to drive as part of his duties as Itami’s blood slave, but it had only been a few months, and he was still getting used to driving into New Jersey for meetings, and to the handling on Itami’s little sportscar. Learning to drive on a Kia hadn’t really prepared him for driving a Jaguar. So he didn’t ask the next question until he’d pulled into the parking space in the garage underneath the office building where Itami would be meeting his colleagues. Daniel cut the engine, looked at Itami, and asked, “What about garlic?”

Itami turned toward him and took off his sunglasses. He smiled, and Daniel could just make out the barely protruding fangs in the dim, garage lighting. He knew he’d see more of them later tonight, when it was time for Itami to feed. The thought made him shiver with anticipation.

“Garlic,” Itami murmured. “That one… is true, and not true.”

Daniel frowned. “How so?”

“Well, the truth is that it was a rumor started by my kind. No matter what you humans believe, garlic doesn’t repel vampires at all.”

“Then why start the rumor?” Daniel asked. Itami laughed.

“Because do you know how disappointing it is to be presented with a gourmet feast, and have it be under-seasoned?”

Daniel burst out laughing. “Is that why there’s always pizza for the slaves at these meetings?”

Itami smiled. He opened the car door and got out, and Daniel scrambled to follow him. They walked toward the elevators, with Daniel a measured two steps behind Itami. They got into the elevator, and Daniel punched the button for their floor while Itami put his sunglasses back on.

“Daniel?” Itami murmured as the doors slid closed.

“Yes, Tono?”

“Have the garlic knots.”

Posted by EASchechter in BDSM Vampires, inspiration-strikes-OW, plot bunnies, short story, silly, 0 comments

Busy week

Short post tonight. It’s been a busy, and very odd week here in the Schechter household. I’ve been working around the edges on Adavar, and I’ve posted some more worldbuilding to Patreon. But the end of the week has been a bit distracting, so I’ve done very little since Thursday. I’m hoping things settle into place this week.

One of the changes has to do with our homeschooling status. In a nutshell, it’s coming to an end — starting in August, my son is going back to school, to an amazing school that we’ve been trying to get into for a few years now.  So come August, I’m going to have a lot more writing time, and I’m going to have to get used to that! It might mean that Ashes and Light gets written faster, or it might mean that I work on both Swords of Charlemagne and Adavar at the same time. I’ll figure it out as I go.

I’m also working on refreshing my brain, aka catching up on my reading. Last night, I read the first four pages of Catherynne Valente’s delightfully dippy Space Opera aloud to a very confused child of my acquaintance. I think I’m going to need to start him on Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy while I read this.  (If you haven’t read Space Opera yet, go get a copy now.  Right now. I’ll wait.)

Also on my pile are Roxane Gay’s Hunger, and a reread of Ursula Vernon’s Castle Hangnail.  And I’m still reading Damon Suede’s fantastic writing book Verbalize, which I have to take in small chunks, the better to absorb the information. Oh, and I’m refreshing my memory on Victorian household management for when I dive back in to Swords of Charlemagne.

The reprints of the Tales from the Arena books release soon — I know it was supposed to be June, but things happen. I’m still loving the new covers, though.

I should stop — I’m rambling like a Lake Wobegon broadcast. Although I do have to say — here in the Schechter house,  all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.

 

Posted by EASchechter in Adavar, Ashes and Light, book reviews, children, cover art, Elemental Project, Homeschool, new books, Patreon, silly, Swords of Charlemagne, Tales from the Arena, Worldbuilding, writing-mom, 0 comments

Shall we play a game?

No, not Global Thermonuclear War.

What we’ll be doing is more like a scavenger hunt.

Here’s the game: I’ll be at Chessiecon the weekend before the cover reveal blitz. I *will* have the cover art for Heart’s Master  by then.

So come find me. Tell me The Magic Words ™, and I’ll not only give you a special sneak preview of the cover, I’ll give you a code for a free book from the Circlet catalog!

What are The Magic Words?

For that, you have to be following me on Twitter.  I’ll post the Magic Words of the day every morning before I leave my room. Find me, whisper the words to me, and I’ll show you the cover art and give you your prize!

See you in a couple of weeks!

Posted by EASchechter in Chessiecon, circlet, cover art, Drum Mage, easily amused writer, giveaway, Heart's Master, promotions, public displays of geekery, silly, upcoming work, 0 comments

Writer, on writing.

A friend asked for an example of how to write a cover letter for a short story submission. This is what I came up with in the five minutes before I had to leave to go off to pick my son up at school. Now it’s a good format, but given what I WROTE here, I’m wondering just where my head is today:

Dear Mister Thus-and-Such,

In a world where chocolate is forbidden, Farfel the Dog has to discover how to liberate the cocoa masses before the cookies burn.

Attached is my short story, Theobroma Nights, which is complete at no words.

I am a very silly person from Florida, and I never intend to write this story.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you.

***

The  really funny part is that, in the time since I posted this to Facebook, several people have asked me to actually WRITE the thing!

Posted by EASchechter in silly, writer on writing, 0 comments

>So…..

>Anyone want to nominate me for a Hugo?

Posted by EASchechter in never-in-million-years, silly, 0 comments